Raise your hopeful voice.

#215 CNY

2012-01-26T14:25:00.003+08:00

this is damn funny. #lazypains

pretty uneventful CNY.. (but at least gambled and won!) not really looking forward to Feb, lots of reasons why but whatev shall not think so much for now.

went for the most ridiculous interview ytd, cos of this agency called RMA. they suck so bad srsly, they failed to tell me the time of the interview for one (despite my emails and calls) and told me wrong details of the job also idk wad's wrong w them even simple information can be distorted along the way so i decided to just tell them during the int tht i wasn't free during training days. but i thought tht it was quite a pity, job w cpf seems kinda good for my resume in the future eh:/

haha nvm since its over i shall just let it be.

hope tht th next few days will be fun, a few more gatherings to go for and some more stuff. 1 FEB soon :( tht day's gna suck man.

happy cny, to those who even read :)

#214 new year.

2012-01-20T14:26:00.003+08:00

didn't blog to usher in the new year.. and now its nearing the end of the first month of 2012 alr oops. tdy's the first day tht i'm staying home the entire day in a long long longgggg time srsly. i've been out everyday running various errands, going out, for chalet and work.

tdy's a well deserved break :)

work tmr at isetan from 10 to 10 and sun from 10 to 530 omgggz thankfully yj and ding are working too! hope we all get same breaks srsly i hate to eat alone so much :/

thr was this particular day tht i felt so upset cos of sth i found out, and i'm rly thankful for my friends who were thr to listen to me talk abt it as i went through my options. even though its mostly forgotten, i still can't help but rmb it whenever.. idk how to say this also but i think abt it rather frequently acty, but i just try not to get too affected! *positive thinking*

luv my friends who have been thr srsly, without you guys i don't know what i wld do :')

and i resolve to work hard this year for whatever i'm gna undertake in March, which i'll (hopefully) get. its gna be busy and stressful but i hope to gain lots of exp which i can put to good use in the future :)

this year i'm gna think more abt the big picture and less abt all the minute details, and i am not gna let bad things in life get me down!!! *optimism* no matter what happens, i know tht i can and will be able to go forth w my life and find my own way :)

i will be more independent.

#213 thus far,

2011-12-25T23:58:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE :)

i'm blogging at th very last min of christmas haha. december is really flying byyy~

Taiwan was fun, and i really wna go back thr again but free and easy th nxt time of cos, and hopefully w friends. we'll have so much fun srsly! and it was rly unexpected to make new friends during th tour, and we even met up once alr hahaha. hope tht we'll meet up soon again :)

lazy christmas this year hee.

i think my whole life is on lazy mode now srsly, i'm resting a lot everyday but it still doesn't seem like its enough! heading out everyday to meet friends is fun and all but i guess i've got to settle looking for a job soon.. hope to get th airport job plsplspls.

shall blog abt th trip another time :)

#212 waiting

2011-12-05T12:43:00.002+08:00

hate waiting. so much. wonder what time i've to wait till?

ANNOYING MUCH >:(

i think i've got lots of things to do but i'm just sitting here dabbling w th blogskin hahaha whatevs i'm feeling way to lazy to even get up to get th remote so tht i can play xbox HAHA. hope tht ltr will be good cos i don't wna feel like a day just zoomed past w/o doing anyth or else these 8 months will just zoom fly past me.

through tears and laughter/

#211 survival.

2011-12-02T02:02:00.002+08:00

we have all made it through :')

can't really believe it's over, but well.. it is! it seems surreal tbh, hope things just turn out well from now onwards. so many plans but so little time actually, hope tht everyth tht i wna do gets done! :)

gna plan this hols well and not waste these 2 months on stuff tht are unimportant. shall get a job after........ having fun :D but i really want the moolah, so what to do? :( oppt costs man, oppt costs. 24 hrs a day, def not enough!

just thinking tht these 2 weeks will just zoom fly past so so so quickly! first week aft As will just be hype and nonsense, then aft tht will be Taiwan! (eggcited ttm!!) but i think upon returning thr'll be a few days to just chill, then christmas will be here! super looking forward!

RANDOM: before i headed out for bio mcq, my mum said tht all of us JC kids entered JC w only thoughts and prayers tht this day would just come already and we can finally be free. so true. but now come to think of it, the rest of our lives will probably get tougher, as decisions have to be made. this break shld thus be cherished greatly by us to rest so tht we can move on to do all our respective great things in life :)

okay am going to sleep soon even though i wanted to stay up till 5am to watch shows/play xbox.

#210 :(

2011-11-27T01:43:00.004+08:00

my days of happiness ended today.

maybe it's because of you. i don't know who am i even talking about now.

it all seems to be a facade; how these few days passed. i experienced joy that i should have appreciated more as it seems so short-lived. i really need to learn to treasure the good times that come by as i would never know when it would just stop. and i need to take control of my life more.

#209 pseudo-end

2011-11-22T20:15:00.002+08:00

but, it's ending soon.

just feeling super duper ultra worried for my results now i've not been feeling secure for any paper at all while others have had good comments for most papers. for example both bio and chem planning are just screwed up for me. like EXTREMELY, cos i alr know tht i have definite mistakes fml. just hoping for the best now and letting God do the rest :)

really wishing tht everything will turn out fine..

did a little bit of shopping tdy and spent quite a lot of time watching shows ytd night and tdy alr! hope this mood will wear off in a few days so tht i can start studying for mcqs haha if this goes on i will just die for my mcqs.

damnnnn looking forward to tmr, and even more so, THURSDAY whoopwhoop :>

heehee. hope to have a good haul tmr! but i think i wont be the one buying super a lot of things lor somebody wants to buy even much much much more than me!

#208 hmm?

2011-09-09T22:10:00.001+08:00

i wonder if whatever i think in my head is true. really wna confirm all these nonsensical thoughts, somehow.

but i really hope tht whatever i think is not th truth.

fkin headache. i just want end of As to come quick. too much is clouding my head and its making me feel so terrible i swear. and i've got no one to tell all these to :/

#207 holiday, not.

2011-08-07T23:07:00.002+08:00

5 days break: study/catch up as much as possible.

but it ain't happening! :(

went to explore MBS for the first time ytd w th birthday boyboy :) came out a tad late so we didn't have the whole day to ourselves.. but we were immersed in our own world for the afternoon and night and tht felt good. haven't really had time to ourselves cos of freaking school, so ytd was really good. can't wait for a getaway; either for a cruise or a stay at MBS it looks so luxurious!

had 2 surprises for the birthday boy, bbq last sat and baked brownies for his birthday! :D ahaha. glad tht he's happy.

wasted the whole of tdy slacking at home w th TV and tried to do econs but didn't even finish anything. i swear i am the most unproductive person ever wts am so screwed for life.

i need to sort out my life, prioritise everyth and leave the unnecessary behind me. cos this is the final lap i have to run and i should give my best, right?

okay on a side note, why are there so many people who have become so pretty?? unfair maximum i tell ya!

#206 back off

2011-07-10T00:04:00.003+08:00

srsly i really don't like you okay just BACK OFF.

i know i can't make you completely disappear and tht just makes me damn sian grr but i hope you at least have some common sense in you. i'm just wasting a post on you but i hope you do see this and know that i'm talking about you.

i know it takes 2 hands to clap but i'm only blaming you so too bad. who ask you to initiate, and try to continue. you are not needed in any part of my life.

#205 so ahead of time

2011-07-02T21:53:00.003+08:00

yeah, i'm ahead of time. cos my brain's formulated all the things that i'm gna do fr wed morn aft econs paper till sunday night:)

plans w nutellas, to hit town for buffet and shopping, dinz w th dumb ppl, swim and watch movies tht i've been missing out on. I CAN'T WAIT.

on a heavy note, my mids are absolutely screwed i rly don't wna fail everyth:(

i'm supp to be looking for bio p3 answers to copy for th planning notes, but i'm really lazy. ended up watching No Strings Attached while having dinner and then surfing th net for nonsense and checking out hp7 timings! i'm so gna book by tnight:) wna watch on the first day so no one will give me spoilers but its so annoying tht we end at 5 on thurs.

shall start studying soon, i hope? thr's Good Luck Charlie later, yay:) can't believe thr's absolutely nth to watch on tv right now i shall go hunt for my bio answers/watch another movie. hmm i wonder what i'll end up doing.

okay anw it sucks tht mj MYEs are stretching for so damn long cos everyone's playing like mad alr NO FAIR! kbye.

#204 we gotta hold on to what we've got

2011-06-29T23:44:00.004+08:00

survived today when i only had 4+ hours of sleep last night due to insomnia! stayed out till 9+ somemore just to chillax at hk cafe ;) #proudofmyself

anwww, haven't been updating this space in a long longggg time ahahaha i've been lazy and busy going out alot instead of staying home to study properly. but i've got excuses too hehe i've had this recurring problem w my head uh my headache was constantly making me so damn uncomfortable and nauseous for quite a couple of days. thank goodness it's slightly better now alr:)

hm, bcme we've taken one paper each and i'm not feeling good abt this mids at all. i rly don't want this to be a flop like mids last year:/ but it seems like thr's no other way, from th way things are going....... Y MY 1111 WISHES NO COME TRUE? (haha elis you-know-what)

anw th hols were pretty good on th days when i went out to have fun, esp one special day ahaha rly loved it!

okay i'm rly ultra sleepy now sigh but still staying up for aussie model!! :) i have tmr to study for stats+chem.. cfm cnnt finish one OMGAHHHHHH. oh and i'm supp to study more pure math since i screwed up tdy's paper by doing 40+marks out of 100 only, but.. nvm no time alrrrr.

okay model's starting :)

#203 cranky much

2011-05-20T20:37:00.004+08:00

i am ultra cranky now but shall try to keep my cool. honestly, i needed to sleep more why did you have to wake me up:/

feeling unwell now, STUPID FLU Y U COME TO ME.

i hope tht things will be better now, what w spa being over. i'm still sad tht i screwed up my bio so badly cos it rly will affect my future uh :/ okay, sob story no more imma be strong and carry on w life.

i want this wkend to be over soon cos i feel like i won't be doing anyth fun this wkend at all i want to go out for dinz w so many ppl next wk! :) hahaha.

had caramel frappe just now yay! but last day tdy alr, sianzzzz no more half price frappe! :< but tdy nick bought th venti one to share w me heehee ♡ satisfied my cravings for tdyyy! probably tmr i will want another one again though..

okay done idk what to update anymore my life is so so so boring..

#202 wholeheartedness

2011-05-08T23:07:00.005+08:00

wheeeeeeee haha tdy was good :) productive day! like, not in terms of work lah didn't do anyth at all but had fun! went for a swim too but nv turn black heehee cos thr was shade just naiseee :)

had a fulfilling talk, and thr's things tht i have to achieve uh. hope i do it properly and tht things get better!!

uhhhhz, sigh needa get started on work alr. i need to really be motivated and turn on my engine which idk is thr or not hopefully it is or else i'm so screwed!! :'( no self pity uh it sounds b.s, no point whatsoever i think so i shall not be tht way just gna striveee as hard as i can.

shall do everyth w an open heart, and as wholeheartedly as i possibly can! so important now i hope i can do ittt. shall be determined and push my limits, cannot be so cui and give up on myself easily. need to rly just try hard. there's no second chance.

#201 is it just me? or..

2011-05-03T21:09:00.003+08:00

are we? i feel like sometimes we are :/

SPA clinic tmr morning! sighers i think mr lim feels like i rly did badly for SPA uh! but glad tht he has given me another chance to practice before the real thing nxt wk uh! :)

i feel so uninformed abt everyth tht's going on ard me, like even when i wrote GP essay on elections, i couldn't think abt any single eg even though elections are like, NOW. hahaha own right :(

anwwww. whut? :O wonder who.. oh well i rly can't be bothered now but i feel so curious and everyth.. I WANNA WANNA WANNA KNOW!!

grr but i can't get distracted for too long, needa do econs elearning now and read both bio+chem SPA urgh 2 SPAs in a row!!!

let's not go bonkers :>

#200 Source Code

2011-05-02T21:56:00.003+08:00

just came home from Source Code! good movie :))

but i'm DAMN FULL RIGHT NOW. like seriously damn full cos of Garrett's caramel popcorn which tastes like Werther's imo. we shared a freakin SMALL okay, not even like the LARGE one we had previously. SMALL SMALL SMALL. couldn't finish+i'm feeling sick naooooz :(

lots of work not completed, and thr's math test tmr but i'm not even bothering to read through my head and body feel so stuffed w popcorn i swear. head. hurts. like. hell. w. t. s. damn there's 2.4 tmr i wna get A, its gonna be the last napfa event of my LIFE i wna do it properly!! but i haven't ran since the last time we were made to run.. so.. HOW SIA.

hope for da bezzzz!

anw tdy was good, took some of my doubts away i guess. but i still cnnt stop myself from thinking so much uh, damnnnnn my head. maybe tht's why i've been getting my headaches O.O

kk shall go drink some vitagen to facilitate digestion in my body, and lots of water to clear the high glucose level hopefully it goes back to normal soon cos i feel like the glucose level is maximum right now urgh why did i eat so much!!

buhbye~

#199

2011-05-01T23:41:00.002+08:00

okay shit my blog posts are getting shorter and shorter and rly pointless but i can't help it idk what to blog abt at all :/

i rly prefer how things were last time, and i think/KNOW that you.. can't say here but wtbs i hate thinking abt it but i think it will rly just lead to an ending that i hate. i'm believing that it wld def lead you thr now yknow.

i sound FREAKIN INCOHERENT I KNOW. whatever.

anw day trip to msia was pretty cool but i'm rly tired, dk why either.

haven't done anyth tdy yet omg. yet another wasted wkend i think. alr have plans for th nxt wkend so i doubt its gna be any much fruitful either, crapppz.

caught 1111 just now, and i wish tht you wouldn't do it. i rly hope tht my wish comes true, i've been wishing it for many days now.

#198 what for?

2011-04-28T22:36:00.001+08:00

seriously this whole thing is getting way out of hand. what's up with all these..

#197 Get it right

2011-04-23T13:11:00.005+08:00

ve been watching ep 16 again haha cos i wanna listen to the songs but apparently i didn't copy it into my comp! no self control i swear i'm supposed to be doing work now not using comp :/

but anw, rly like this song by Lea Michele in Glee :) touching much, really.

What have I done? I wish I could run
Away from this ship goin under
Just tryin to help out everyone else
Now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders

What can you do when your good isn't good enough
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Cause my best intentions keep makin a mess of things
I just wanna fix it somehow

But how many times will it take?
Oh how many times will it take for me
To get it right
To get it right

Can I start again, with my faith shaken
Cause I can't go back and undo this
I just have to stay and face my mistakes,
But if I get stronger and wiser, I'll get through this

What can you do when you're good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
Coz my best intentions keep makin a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take?
Oh, how many times will it take for me to
Get it right?

So I throw up my fists, throw a punch in the air,
And accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair
I'll send down a wish and I'll send up a prayer
And finally someone will see how much I care

What can you do when you're good isn't good enough?
And all that you touch tumbles down?
My best intentions keep making a mess of things,
I just wanna fix it somehow
But how many times will it take? Oooh
How many times will it take for me
To get it right, to get it right

need to get back to work now. i have alot of boxes to check on my to-do list this 'long' weekend. 'long', pfft -.- so annoying seriously 1 more day does not mean we have alot of time to do our work right :/ sighhhh. and how on earth do some people say tht they go out every day but still can finish all work? rly -.- uh i think, only mab can do it!

bye. heading out in approx 3 hours, need to cram work naoooz! :(

#196 slack mondays!

2011-04-18T22:50:00.002+08:00

slack mondays feel goooood :) sigh but tmr's gonna be a long day, w chem spa some more so sooooper sian.

uhm, i rly don't like you. must keep saying this. anw not many people read my blog so it's okay to post this i guess. stop trying so hard. i'm kinda repeating everyth from my previous post but whatever hehe. i know it takes 2 hands to clap and all but i rly rly rly still don't like you. not just cos of those stuff but its just everyth abt you i guess.

whatever i should shut up abt it i guess :/

can't wait for good friday holzzz anw :) churchy church, like finally uh! plus stayover i think? and and shopping too! excited only i can't wait.. but sat have to go msia, my whole wkend kinda busted alr hahaha.

sian bio test on monday. this thurs got thermochem test booooo! :( i think i am so so so screwed haha cos i kinda referred to mab's tut for alot of qns no impression of how to do any alr-.-

okay nvm incoherent post cos i'm sleepy nightss! it was a slack weeknight :)

#195 mad sleepy i tell ya

2011-04-16T23:26:00.003+08:00

long tiring day i'm mad sleepy seriously.

and i've got something to say.
I DON'T LIKE YOU. period.

every aspect of you.. i think tht you're just quite fake and ridiculous and everyth rarh. i wonder if anyth you say is even true. and you're th reason stuff are hidden from me. well maybe's its not totally your fault but SO WHAT. i put th blame on you idc-.- bitchhh

sigh trying hard not to care but its proving to be so damnnnn difficult i swear :(

i need to shop, pronto.

anw rly thankful to you for helping me even get to bed to sleep last night haha last night was difficult i swear. but got through it w your help c:

#194 i'm a loser who can't control her emotions

2011-04-10T21:11:00.002+08:00

anw, just finished watching Up again :')

and and i only just realised that there are only 10 of us left in LT4 for chem lecs. Jinni, Elis, Chantalle: WE MUST GO TO LT5 AFTER MIDS OKAY!!

fri was a badddd day cos i felt so damn horrible i wanted to vomit, had headache and tummyache toooo. worst thing on friday: I COULDN'T NAP EVEN THOUGH I WAS ON MY BED W EYES CLOSED FOR AN HOUR WTH. worst feeling in life ever. want to sleep so badly but cannot. plus, PIA GOT OUSTED WTF SO ANGRY i am not going to watch american idol anymore zz the whole results thing must have been rigged or sth. yeah so tht's why my friday was so damn horrible :(

sat crashed at nick's for awhile, then headed to tamp then jo's hse for prac haha super dumb please we barely sang anyth hehe!! just talked. and talked some more.

okay and tdy i've just officially wasted the whole entire day urgh. still need to do AQ, summary, abit of chem MCQ, math assignment (parts tht idk) blabla............ i only plan to finish AQ tnight haha.

anw felt so so so horrible last night and the night before cos of sth else also SIGH. so irritating i wish the feeling will just go away :< and Chantalle alw the one i rant to uh thanks haha. i super bipolar lor anw, resolved and 5min ltr couldn't take it alrr! :D:

OKAY TIME TO DO AQ GRR. BYEBYEBYE.

#193 take a leap of faith,

2011-04-07T23:55:00.003+08:00

and jump.

got back all my results, DSUUB. B is nth anw its only GP not H2 okay but i'm thankful that at least i managed a B i guess :) but the Us have got to go, srsly.

need to catch up w all the things i've been lagging in (ATTN: MATH, econs) and i gotta stop being so restless and unattentive in class cos i ain't got the brains to simply study on my own and get everyth right.

anw i've been super irritable the whole day, thanks to one single person. tmr i'm still gonna be irritable i think. cos i'll be cranky due to lack of sleep. damn you, math elearning. i didn't learn anyth at all cos i was just in a hurry to complete the copying-.- but imma read you soon and understand so that i can do well in math!!

gonna strive, cos i've a new goal: to surpass you. bitch.

#192 pointless,

2011-04-02T14:55:00.003+08:00

my life seems pointless now, i feel like i have nth much to live for. maybe its just the way JC life is making me feel? i really don't know uh.

and some stuff just make me feel so damn disappointed. like, i had hope tht it won't happen uh. but it did again anw-.- and what someone told me is so true. idk why you're even doing this. it seems like you are just one B who wants to act mysterious. i guess next time i'll just take it tht anyth you say is fake and its pointless for me to even ask cos it's probably lies. irony, huh. you knew tht it would hurt me but you still initiated anw, bitch.
whatever. i feel so so so dead today although i've slept so much since ytd till tdy. why?

i need to focus on my priorities and not g.a.f. about other things tht will make me upset although i know i'll still get affected in the end.. why do i have so many issues. i feel like i'm fat like a pig now too cos i keep eating whenever i feel upset. it's not to the extent of binging or anyth close uh, but its enough to make me fat.

i need a good distraction, sth tht will make me take my mind off anyth and everyth tht's troubling me.

and there are some things tht people will never know, ever.

i feel like i'm an angsty teen against the world.

#191 lean on me

2011-03-26T23:52:00.003+08:00

Lean on me, when you're not strong and I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on~

whoooo sang w alumni choir for the first time tdy! and had awfully chocz cake cos it was MeiXuan's b'day celebration :) missed singing w ahs people so much hehe 4 guys:~20 girls tdy leh but they so steady!

laughed quite a lot tdy :D

and and, need to meet up w peidingeugexintange sooooooooooon :( and i hope everyone can make it lor seriously! we haven't had full attendance in a long long long looooooonnnnngggg time..

finished PLL s1 tdy, FINALLY eh. can't wait for s2 i wna know who's A! and i still have 3 more eps of glee! this wkend is sucha slack one whoo i really haven't touched any books at all since thurs yay yay yay totally LML (real one) for naoooz :)

short dinner+walkwalk on thurs, town on fri, and tdy was double choir prac. tmr will be fun i guess! slack ttm whooooo :))

but after this wkend, i really need to wake up alr zz stop slacking and MUST work hard for everyth alr mids onwards will be really important so i need to catch up on every single thing i've been lagging in (MATH) plus i can't stone in lecs/tuts anymore i guess sigh its not gonna work out for me if i keep this up cos i'm not smart like some people zz:( i can't afford to mess up my As. i'm turning 18 end of this yr so i should have self responsibility right.. and i should stop screwing up my life.

#190 MBTs are over.

2011-03-24T17:17:00.004+08:00

i don't feel any form of relief but at least i can slack without guilt naoooz :)

lots of people said they didn't study (heard irl, fb, twitter) but i guess we shall see uh. like seriously.. chanty told me abt this person o.o idk what to say haha but why bother to be fake abt this sort of thing huh got study just say uh no biggie ah no one will laugh right! okay nvm this is stupid idk why i'm saying all these also.

just came back from Cathay w girls and (part of) th class. 5 of us had B&J! while lynny went for Suckerpunch w th rest hope she had fun :)

going out again soon haha no napping tdy (i hope) so tht my time can be utilised to maximum satisfaction :)

OH ANW I HAVE EFFFFFFFF-ING BAD SKIN NOW I SWEARR. i have patches of rash on my face i looking so fugly i wna dieeeee how what to do someone please help meeeee :(

ZZZ. and idk what's my plans for tmrr how sorry jans, though you won't even see this i think? hehe.

[adding on to the post]

oh and i need to shop now tht mbts are over whooo. shiats i'm still at home so late alrrr i've been using comp since 5 only stopped to bathe!! :(

1. new polish cos i'm bored of the old ones
2. new and nice shoes if i see any, even though nick says tht i have enough alr.
3. a board thingy dk how to say
4. clothes. i was rummaging like mad but still had nth so i'm wearing basics.
5. something novel hahaha love novelty items [that shop in Cathay (y)]
6. okay i can't think now too sleepy.

#189 dweebs/we will survive

2011-03-19T23:58:00.005+08:00

sooo cute and sweet :)

anw i'm really giving up on math alr i guess. my definition of giving up is not th same as how other people see it. most people are like halfway through whatever revision, and cos they don't have enough time/no confidence, they say they give up on tht subj but get back a PASS. perhaps its not enough for them huh, but its def enough for me please.

math=no chance of passing unless a miracle happens which i don't think will:/

well and its not like i'll do well for other subjs. i'm not giving them up yeah i'll try my best to finish studying, really! all i hope for is tht i can pass :)

truly, madly, deeply.

anw i don't regret th time spent out hehe i had fun whooo.

oh and its just plain weird tht i saw random tweets (if you're reading its prob not yours) mentioning tht they don't mug and all blablabla haha they are just dweebs please who doesn't have to mug in jc huh come on don't act :)

we will survive the seemingly unending torture alright, all of us tgt :) wow, what an optimistic statement hehe this post seems to have lots of positives!

anwz, like what jinni blogged: 'MBT is gonna be the last wake up call for me' IT WILL BE.

need to fulfill what i set to do, starting naoooz. okay maybe after i sleep. so sleepy :(

hoping tht i'm not lulled into a false sense of security..

#188 hell, its thursday.

2011-03-17T14:22:00.003+08:00

i think of so many different things at the same time.

it's freakin thursday alr yknow. papers start on tues. i've neither started on chem or math. bio and econs abt 1/4 done for each but idk how much of those are retained in my puny brain. and th EFFFFFFING construction is bloody noisy i tell you i shld have went out to study tdy but too late cos i woke up late and all alr :(

anw i wonder how's facing the As gonna be like? i think i'll just die.

going out tmr whoo. i know i'll regret it but hey i need to have a life hehe. alternate days of having fun! watched adjustment bureau ytd. if you don't like drama movies, please don't watch it.

hopefully i'll get stuffs tht i want tmr, shopping trip! :) shall resolve not to spend a bomb on food like what we always do, waste money uh :@

i just wanna pull through next week feeling good abt myself and not cry after th end of it all. please.

:D:

i think i'm bipolar.

#187 inferior complexity

2011-03-13T18:19:00.002+08:00

try as i might, i still feel it. even on today when i'm supposed to study :(

5 hours to bed and i still can't get rid of unwanted thoughts! i only feel tht i'm lousier than them. i'm not gna bother you by telling you all of these alr i'm just gna post it here and if you read it.. well i very much doubt you would bother to.

GP TMR F. i'm so not prepared for mbts. probably gna get into every single SRP tht's available for me..

am i being stupid? but i keep feeling tht this is very real and i'm always going to be at th losing end.. they are just prettier and very much smarter than me fts.

let it be? :/

#186 SERIOUSLY.

2011-03-06T00:57:00.003+08:00

idk what to say to people like you anymore. SERIOUSLY MANZZZZ get a life please.

stop trying to act like you're so cool..

anw, road race + everyth w fries + ice cream chef tdy! we are suay ttm tdy seriously everyone hates us:( but i like th passion kiwi sorbet! (jinni too!) let's have another good meal tgt soon nxt time no bad service please.

watched idol results just now whooooo th weird guy nv get in and th 3 girls i like all got in! :) watching Glee repeat on Star World now.. my GP essay is screwed ttm seriously idk wad to write.

my eyes are tired, i really need to sleep and wake up earlier tmr cos i'll be heading out i guess? yeah goodnight world.

babe i hope you're resting well and feeling better ily.

#185 pop.

2011-02-27T20:34:00.003+08:00

headache now again, whut :<

maybe its really th more i sleep th more headaches i get? and th worse my skin gets? i feel like thr's a bomb site at one side of my face anytime will have explosions and it just gets worse.

nvm at least i've got my new bottle! greenie :)) and bought my Godmum's birthday present too. missed th choir prac though i need to go for th next one alr! :c

watched Unknown on fri, not bad uh th movie i think. at least not boring like Hereafter, and thr was a twist to it..

okay this post is super random i need to clear my head zz. and freakin do my work. lots of work still untouched and yet i watched all th shows tht i wanted to :< need to do math nowzzz, P&C O.O

shall work harder, to be a better person for myself and for everyone around me. less complaints, more productivity instead. i should stop living in my own bubble, for myself only. no more taking things for granted; take whatever life throws at me. just suck it up cos that's life.

pop.

i hope that there are no lies in your words, cos sometimes i really feel scared.

#184 OH NOOO i'm still not posting photos and all.

2011-01-30T23:21:00.003+08:00

YAY I WNA GO BACK SOON!:))

hmm anw i'm having a splitting headache now, and idk whyyy. since this afternoon yknow. maybe cos of tht mocha. NO MORE MOCHA FOR ME. i miss bottled caramel frapp, nicer than mocha lor confirm.

anw i haven't bought much for this CNY eh. hopefully this wed can get to leave schl early or sth, then head somewhere for last min shopping! MAYBE i'm going to schl? haha not confirmed yet!

watched th GREEN HORNET tdy, JAY CHOU! :)) hahaha he so act cool in th show but i like! JAY CHOU JAY CHOU. some jokes quite funny uh th part where he knocked out britt for 11 days, hehe.

no mab for 2 days, must rot through tutorials on my own damn sad. somemore last row will only have me and j.yeo i think.. cos 4 of them won't be around! SIANNNN. wish teachers weren't so irritating abt th seating thingys.

shall go sleep now i feel like i'm typing nonsense :(

anw i really hope things will be fine, like every single thing in th world uh:)

and ily so much for being accommodating to me these few days!

#183 short update!!(ignores reminder for now)

2011-01-23T00:12:00.002+08:00

ignoring th reminder, cos i'm using my phone to blog!! hahaha:)) schl has been a little torturous @ times i guess but still tolerable.. I just wish tht schl starts later:( anw its Elis's birthday now YAY HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY WHEE HEHE. my phone's weird dun let me paragraph so I shall stop typing byeeee!!

#182 REMINDER!!

2011-01-10T21:52:00.000+08:00

thr's this awesome fun time tht i had tht i NEED to blog abt when i have time!! this post is to remind me to do so SOOOOON :))

#181 new layout!

2011-01-10T21:41:00.005+08:00

new year, new school day, new layout!

Olvl results day! awesome max they did super well we've improved again tmr holiday for them!! :)) congrats to one and all. hopefully you all will make correct decisions, and for those who didn't do so well its not tht bad can slowly think through and get something you want!!

i miss th exhilaration and tension tht we all felt this time last year~

there's short timetable tmr again, YAY! mass dance aft tht and we can go alr i guess.. hopefully all goes well and i won't be so tired and crampy tmr again-.-

oh damn i'm totally craving for hot food now,

baked potato w bolognese!! ahh ahh ahh i heart potato hahaha. had this at Nex th other day we went.

i need cut my hair properly soon uh zz, omg i cut my own fringe and now it looks DAMNNNN bad i'm regretting cutting on my own this time :( hopefully it grows back by wed i don't wna look like an idiot in front of so many people!!

i need to pack lots of stuffs and finish all th damn math work and chem and econs. tht's practically everyth alr lah wdv sian ttm.

okay shall TV naoooo, BYE!

#180 happy 2011! (1 day late-.-)

2011-01-02T23:21:00.004+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! but i'm a day late, shucks :(

short summary of 2010: end of holidays which we had no work to do, Olevel results, 2 wonderful chalets, choosing of JC, entering MJ, orientation, 10S111, choir, being forced to do tutorials, knew th 5 of you, failed all my subjects, random shopping trips/outings, studying outside alot (equals to no studying), J1 bash, cheerleading, impt day on June 17th, another on 4Aug & 7Dec, more outings, cable TV, LOTS of PW, slacking despite everyone was working damn bloody hard before promos, scraping promos cos i was lucky, christmas w you :) and of cos NYE sleepover!

okay i wanted to put in chronological order but i think i missed out a few here and thr, and also mixed them up:X

hope everyone has made their resolutions! i NEED to stick to mine this year, cos its such and impt year damn. i really really NEED to pull through this year and do well for everyth by setting my heart and soul to it!

I WILL STUDY REALLY HARD. MORE THAN THE TOTAL THT I'VE EVER STUDIED. (i wanted to say more than i ever did but i realise i nv studied alot at one go before-.-)

i will have a better character, and be more family oriented cos i've neglected things at home lots of times before :(

& i will be a better friend too, and support my friends who need it :)

[end of resolutions for now]

spent NYE till NY w Eugeny & Cheryl! slept at 6 woke up at 8plus.. come to think of it, WHY DID WE WAKE UP SO EARLY?? cos of tht when i reached home i couldn't help but napped for another 4 hrs.

went Bedok Point for th first time ever on NYD too i wonder how isit ever going to survive cos thr's only food inside. so much competition among one another sure close down lah they shld have more retail! only B1 looks like its part of a mall! haha.

anw i'm definitely just hoping tht 2011 would be great, but it'll suck cos everyone else will turn 18 before me ZZZZ. tht sucks so so bad.

hoping tht 2011 will be great for everyone too esp all my loved ones :D

oh, and June will mark yet another year!♥

okay shall stop here now i need to do work yknow i haven't touched econs math AT ALL omg pretty screwed. not done w th rest either how how??

SHALL STICK TO MY RESOLUTION: TO WORK HARD. shall try to do a little now, after i bathe and watch tv maybe? heehee :D

#179 oh christmas treeeee.

2010-12-27T14:20:00.002+08:00

merry third day of christmas everyone :))

christmas has come and gone, as it does every year.

somehow i feel tht th christmas spirit wasn't tht strong this year.. isit just me?:/ and what i took from service got me thinking. 'christmas, isn't christmas, till it happens in your heart. somewhere, deep inside you, is where christmas really starts!' th christmas tht we see all around us year in year out, isn't really what th day truly means. we should all try to discover what christmas really means to us, individually :)

what th pastor said makes lots of sense :)

caught Gulliver's Travels aft service and had dinner w family! :) had christmas th day before w Nick's family too, nice.

boxing day was short for me cos i woke up so damn late whoops. ikea in th evening hehe :D

going to AMK sooooooon! gosh i suck so bad cos i still don't wna do my work :(

tmrrrr, PROMISE teehee. (i hope) going to work full day wed, will be so so tiring i think first time in ages tht i gotta wake up so damnnn early yknow:/

shall go bathe and prepare to go out soon! (pictures another time!)

#178 NO CANCELLING PLS!!

2010-12-22T01:19:00.007+08:00

we'd better not cancel on thurs! or else really don't know when we can meet yknowww :<

okay i transferred photos from my cam to comp, finally! but not all yet tht one i have to decide if i wna put them in comp or hard disk cos all also have space-.- 300++ GB in each so where to throw all these things?

anw went for 85 tdy!! thought it was closing alr? how come still open when is it opened till?? i wna eat again aft my cough/sore throat/flu is gone, sian. saw WL otw home, and realised tht it's been quite long since i saw all of them eh :/ haha anw cos i transferred photos, this is a lil of what i have!

EUGE LOOKS SO CUTE RIGHT TEEHEE WHO ASK HER GO FLICK HER HEAD WHEN TH PERSON SAID 321!

HAHA TH PEOPLE WE WORKED W DURING TH 2.5/3/4 DAYS HEHE. augustine & lixuan! :)) anw these are actually sticker kinda photos (abit like polaroids) tht were printed out when we took photos on th iMac! i took photos of th stickers tht's why is so blurryyy my cam quality inferior ah hehe.

NEW LIP GLOSSYY! :) HEHE CAME FROM SWEDEN YKNOW YAY SMELLS LIKE IT CAN BE EATEN!

A BIT OF WHAT WE DID ON MY BIRTHDAY :))

IMPT NOTES TO SELF:

NEED TO DO CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.

NEED TO RUN MORE, I'M FAT.

NEED TO BUY NEW CLOTHES I'VE SO LITTLE OF THEM.

NEED TO MEET UP W MORE PEOPLE.

NEED TO START STUDYING AND DOING WORK & NOT SLACK.

but still need to playyy! :)

#177 unfortunate.

2010-12-19T22:42:00.002+08:00

my grandma passed, on 11th Dec @ 1406 :/

some things cannot be mentioned here, but i guess it all just leaves me disappointed within when i learn of what they do.. nvm. i can't do anyth abt it anw.

went to Nex ytd haha so many people and i was feeling under th weather so couldn't enjoy fully! really hope tht th next time i go i can have lots more fun. it's a huge-ass mall! ALOT of fast food though not many new things around.. but great to walk around cos it has 2 supermarkets :)

i'm just rotting and wasting my days away really need to start on my work i noted down all th work i had to do and realised tht i probably need at least another 3 months to finish everyth, given tht i'm really not doing anyth much :(

not sure what i'm doing tmr, but i think i will go roller-blading sooooooon! :)

i will suffer so so bad next year, sigh ttm.

okay this is a poorly organised post.

i'm still lazy to organise my photos :/ gotta sort out soon! hehe my birthday photos rotting in my camera ah. plus i gotta prepare christmas presents too! meeting @ least 3 of them soon i expect, cos me and euge gotta go collect pay! :) YAY i miss them so much.

okay bye batt's dying shall continue watching tv!

#176 masterchef! :)

2010-12-09T22:39:00.004+08:00

was watching MasterChef! :) pretty cool show, and i like Whitney lots!

these few days have been pretty awesome hehe. photos another time though i'm still stuffed from this afternoon, and am sure tht i've put on at least 5kg :( SIGH TTM.

walked on th forest walk thingy, and also henderson waves on my birthday! :) success! :) then took bus to vivo, ate at marche and watched narnia! super successful day nothing went wrong except tht narnia's not tht entertaining, though definitely better than Prince Caspian :X

uhm, ytd was alright as well and tdy was buffet+Skyline :)

now i have nothing much to do, idk why either. feels empty.

#175 WTH?!

2010-12-03T23:11:00.002+08:00

the wondrous and sought-after iPad! (i really don't wna face it anymore aft tmr, though i really want an ipt still *HINTS*)

ytd was boring ttm for th whole day, but tdy was good! BUT NO COMMISSION FOR US 4, SUPER DUPER SAD!! so cool yknow we sold iPads to foreigners who were so friendly and gracious and didn't mind even though we were clueless about th prices discounts and everyth! super happy tht my customers were all so nice :)

hopefully th half day tmr will be great as well and i'll meet many nice customers toooooo! th game thing will hopefully work out better too? haha super dumb uh.

anw.. OMG WTS WTHHHH when i saw tht i was just....... what the hell. seriously. i have no idea what else to say!! :( stop it lah. i can't mention anyth here though, damn sian. gna sleep soon alr have to wake up at 930 tmr!!

#174 gleek out!

2010-11-27T00:42:00.002+08:00

look at her, she's just stunning :)

watching glee tdy, ever since i got home! skipped schl tdy, cos i woke up at 12 having a burning throat + headache. hell of a way to start th day.

well at least now i'm having time with myself, watching glee! finally on to s2, but i only have up till ep4. i need th rest sooooon! but everyth's showing so slowly, i need new shows to watch. is th Nikita show nice? i think i have like, 6 eps of it or sth.. and how abt Chuck? aww man i need entertainment!

i need to do something productive with my life! everyone's either working or doing awesome stuffs! unfair much, i wna be proud of sth i did during this hols tooooooo! seriously think tht i'm nth but a fat and lazy bum :(

oh, and i wna watch rapunzel!

& yay, a special day's coming right up! :))

#173 run.

2010-11-22T22:36:00.003+08:00

glad ttm for that nap. rest is so important :) okay this dog photo is random but its so darn cute.

i want to go to nice places! like paris, or hongkong also can!! everyone seems to be going to nice places, unfair much. i wish i was rich rich rich! if i was a rich girl....... i would probably be in Hawaii now hehe. awesome to imagine that!

okay nvm enough daydreaming.

had dance prac for th first time tdy, so dumb! mab and lynny damn retarded i swear :D 6 of us will be th best in th dance right! hahaha. apparently there's prac tmr but i can't go! so tiring sia if i wna go for tht + concert at night.. tmr's a rest day yknow :)

shall try to sleepy earlier tonight, and then i'll feel better tmr.

HMPH. haven't talked today.

#172 total eclipse of the heart/defying gravity

2010-11-14T13:48:00.001+08:00

turn around, bright eyes.

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

#171 OP OVER.

2010-11-11T22:49:00.004+08:00

HAHA BLURRY FLURRY I LOOKA LIKA NERD :)

anw, OP's finally over! i screwed up i screwed up i screwed up. damn eff-ing sad zz i thought my answer was thr, koi said it was thr but th teacher freakin doesn't get my answer so forget it, just my luck- FML!

meeting th girls tmr in th afternoon i think? haha it'll be fun? omg i shall just sit at th side and zb i guess i don't wna sing, seriously!

i want to go somewhere far far away, preferably a vacation on th alaskan cruises tht nick mentioned before (or whatever they are lah, its just those damn luxurious cruises out of grasp) and live a good life onboard :)

imma do i&r now. one para. then watch GG & glee! juliet shld just get retribution she's sucha bitch :(

#170 OBVIOUS MUCH?

2010-11-08T22:54:00.016+08:00

no need to be so obvious.

and maybe you don't do it, but tell your FRIEND to stop complaining when we are th ones waiting every time it's really unfair :(

anw town for a little bit tdy was pretty fun hehe. only had dinner and walked/slacked ard but it felt good. haven't done this since God-knows-when! rooftop playground :)

saw ada tdy too, haven't seen her for sucha longggg time alr hope she's fine! [if you're reading this, HOPE YOU'RE FINE ADA LONG TIME NO SEE/TALK ALR :( stay pretty okay hehe.]

anw, photos! so long since i uploaded any :D

AWESOME ENGLISH, CAN YOU SEE? SORRY I LAZY EDIT TO CIRCLE OUT TH FUNNY WORDS. 'POUR TH LIQUID... THE MOST AMAZING THING HAPPENED!!!' HEHE.

FUNNY ENGLISH AGAIN!

anw, vivo on fri! terrible crowd zomg it seems like there are 5billion people in SG, instead of million. overcrowding ttm everywhere!

discovered a new cafe, ROMULUS! pretty quiet cafe, think cos its new so no establishment of name yet. decent shepherd's pie, lasagne was not bad toooo :)

WEIRD CONCOCTION TO HAVE IN A CAFE! miso-salmon soup, fishy and not very tasty uh :X

lagsane!! :D shepherd's pie pic refuses to load -.-

watched MEGAMIND 3D!

but rubbish happened.. th person who sold us tickets gave us WRONG TIMING. fml, second time this ever occurred in my life! :(

thankfully our new seats were good :D so lucky hehe! th movie was alright, but cartoons have generally improved since last year so its not as good when compared to th rest uh.

3D SPECKYS!

went to walk around, spent ALOT on food ONLY tht day haha didn't manage to shop to buy anyth useful sigh. but nvm, there's still time I REALLY WNA WORK to earn moolah! im running so low every week it feels horrible much.

i wna have sleepover(s)! overseas trip(s)! all these need $$.. i don't mind if i could afford any console to share w you also yknow :( i wna play also!

life is brief but when it's gone, love goes on and on..

#169 would you be there?

2010-11-08T00:30:00.003+08:00

If I were blue, would you be there for me,
And whisper in my ears that's okay.
Would you stand by me, let me hold you tight,
And say you love me one more time.

If I feel good, would you slow dance with me,
And touch my lips with tender loving care,
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
And never look back..

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there..

If I am away, would you still think of me,
And wished that you could hold me now.
Would you die for me, would you run with me,
All the way ...

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight,
Would you swear that your love is always true,
Would you say that you always be there,
To kiss my pain away,

Would you be there to love, to be with me?
Would you swear that your love is always true?
Would you say that you'll always be the one,
to take my breath away?

Would you be there to save my soul tonight,
Would you swear that your love is always true,
Would you say that you always be there,
To kiss my pain away,

Would you be there ... for me.

rmb this song? i think i only heard it in some channel 8 drama eons ago but it kinda stuck w me for very long. nice song:D

i need to do sth with my life uh, SERIOUSLY! im doing stuffs like catching up with harry potter which sometimes occupies my whole entire day! i shld at least be doing sth more productive like memorising OP script/thinking of q&a right?!

wts.

i need to prioritise. SO SO BADLY SERIOUSLY!

i shld be recognising a turnabout, not ignoring and doing things th same way.. but i've always been like this so wad's new right? :(

needa sleep now alr tmr i WON'T BE LATE! shall read script once, and hope it sticks in my head.

i hate what i see. allofthat.

#168 things don't go my way.

2010-11-04T21:52:00.003+08:00

with a splash.

okay, today was kinda a whole waste of time. wasted so so so much time rotting/doing absolutely nothing at all. i feel screwed, like i'm doing nothing with my life and everyth's just gonna get wasted. OP next week, hopefully it'll be alright yeah its th last major thing to be done for PW!

i sound like a nerd wts-.-

feeling so sleepy tdy, haven't slept so little in awhile alr. tmr's deepavali! and i'll be going out hope tht it'll be fun :)

i need lots of it in my life.

have i mentioned? NO OGL FOR ME THIS YEAR FML. whole world knows why alr, stupid reason. ridiculous ttm, and its dumb for people to be kicked out cos of teacher disapproval. (not in my case lah, we were 'labelled' before everyth alr so th cross obviously came from..) there are many who deserved it but didn't get in cos of th above reason. RIDICULOUS.

i need some cheer to make life seem better.

#167 baddabing baddaboom.

2010-11-01T20:35:00.002+08:00

CAN BE USED TO TRICK RABBITS :)

today, going to schl was an utter waste of time seriously. did nth much, and am typing out my script now. deadlines deadlines.. after promos PW really screws up my life (and many others as well) I&R first draft on wed, i have no idea how to even start typing one out.

shall envision th fun i'll have, post-PW. i really need new stuffs i've not bought stuffs for so long WHAT A NO-LIFER I AM RIGHT. so hsi-resol :(

watching movies/glee/tvd/gg on comp seems to be a daily routine for me right now, like OMG RIGHT. such a resol, me.

i miss th good ol' times. when an accomplished day would comprise of swimming+cycling+bowling+movie! hehe.

i just wna get PW over with. shall look forward to this friday. hope it doesn't disappoint!:D

byebyebye.shall.get.back.to.script.me.has.been.doing.since.eternity.ago.

FML WEEK BE GONE!

#166 hungry. and sleepy.

2010-10-28T23:39:00.003+08:00

pretty view. i want to go to paris right now and have a summer like that of blair & serena hehe. i know that was like th start of season only, but i still wna goooo! :)

so sleepy now seriously. fell asleep on sofa, felt so good. now i just crave for more.

anw its so upsetting to know that your group is th slowest for WR in class, w all others completing alr zz. sickening to th core sigh. but hopefully it'll turn out fine cos it'll be other people marking! (not someone who tells other groups different things from what she tells us -.-) TMR, TMR! LAST DAY ALR WE CAN DO IT! i really hope that we can!

shall go sleep now alr. fam guy's showing, so cute. why charlie & choc factory become all beer brian and peter.. dumb ttm hehe they're floating away and away!

shall go sleep now alr they're farting so much on tv :X fake oompa loompas!

#165 FML, REALLY.

2010-10-27T23:16:00.002+08:00

i am so so so tired of life. about how everyone treats everyone else. about how things turn out to be so damn horrible. about how i'm being treated. wtf this week sucks ttm okay so many many bad things happen to me alr i just wna get everyth over and done with now yknow.

and nobody even cares about wad happens to me. not even you.

i really can't believe that you just walked out of schl and nv even bothered to tell me. excuses like 'i didn't know where were you' just don't cut it cos my bag was freakin in class okay. its just cos you don't even bother.

fuck my life i don't give a shit abt anyth anymore. don't talk to me.

#164 FML, kinda.

2010-10-26T23:52:00.004+08:00

today kinda sucked. seriously.

PW sucks cos its making ties so strained, and it's a horrible feeling:/

do i go for briefing on sat? haven't replied leader yet how how how!! its freakin at henderson sec some really hard-to-go place, at bukit merah/timah or sth:X

wrote my script from scratch zz, cos i lost th copy tht i made ytd FML. then i realised tht this pretty clip of mine broke in my bag, double FML. came home to take a nap, half hour stretched to 2 hours:/ edited slides, wrote script, surfed randomly till now AND I'M SLEEPY AGAIN. didn't even do anyth much uh so stupid i feel sad abt this cos i'm totally wasting my life away! :(

hoping tht tmr will be a better day, but i don't see how it will be uh seriously.

i still haven't approached ms hua, w kit & jason. tmr's 2nd OP dry run, i'm hoping for th best! hopefully WR's okay too.

needa stay till 5 in schl tmr, life sucks.

#163 Life as we know it

2010-10-25T23:13:00.001+08:00

cute ttm haha! sophie! love love love her expressions she's super charming ah, really! melts hearts yknow (Y)

okay anw i left schl early tdy, at abt 2! supposed to run some errands but ended up not really accomplishing much:/ had pastamania (worst meal thr ever tdy blah) and waited around till 7 for th movieeee! GV theatres are cold cold cold i don't likey! had extra shirt and shorts around me hehe funny max i pretended that those made up a jacket.

super regretting food choices i had made tdy, fried food made my throat feel like crap.

it feels horrible now also uh sian.

oh no lappy to schl tmr, heavy max. so i shall just leave it home and just bring glee w me to schl as a source of entertainment if need be. first 3 eps shld be enough righttt! uh please don't laugh at me just cos i haven't watched glee haha.

had our first ever OP dry run tdy. uh it was okay, i guess. not good, not bad. just slides to edit, yada yada. hopefully everyth turns out fineee!

i am so so so so so sleepy now. bye.

#162 spag brained.

2010-10-23T23:49:00.003+08:00

i'm sucha typical spag brained girl-.-

original plan was to blog & do OP, then go sleep alr cos thr's PW @koi's hse tmr! but th clever me went to do other stuffs and am doing OP so slowly tht at this rate i'm never going to be able to sleep sigh. anw i really wna change th background colour!! shall ask them tmr. cos th background doesn't let me use my fonts hahaha! can't use all th pink/purple/turquoise colours also, so sad! dull dull dull manzxz.

shall go sleep sooooon. feeling like i'm wasting my life away, once again :(

once upon a time, my life was exciting.

i'm a lousy friend i guess.

#161 thank God

2010-10-21T22:31:00.003+08:00

i'm counting my blessings, and appreciating God now.

so thankful tht i managed to scrape through! like seriously borderline uh haha. guess i'm pathetic, relying on moderation instead of myself:/ FML huh i shld buck up, and not let MrTam/MsLee down. thankyou for believing in me, and believing tht i absolutely can do better than this. & i won't have to break news like wad happened in mids.

moderation rocks. lets me stay in 10S111 :)

anwwww, nt going to schl tmr, YAY. hopefully afternoon would be awesome? idk uh i have no idea what to doooo! gotta send sean my part now, put it in koi's comp instead of his.

my life's boring now, ahaha. just hoping tht everyth goes well! i shld just make th best out of everyth now.

my tummy feels funny :(

& i feel sad, if.................. i don't even wna type it all out cos i don't want those stuffs to happen. thr's even more but i really don't wna say anyth. i have this weird belief tht if i don't say anyth, it won't come true hehe. hopefully it works! *cross fingers cross toes*

bye gna go bathe now omg its so late alrrrr but i still haven't bathed.

i wish i have a friend who is as dear as how serena is to blair and vice versa.

#160 half half.

2010-10-18T23:23:00.004+08:00

SIGH. sth's got me pretty sad.. but nobody knows why. i just think too much i guess, but nobody can tell uh so i guess it doesn't really matter.

today, it felt good after school. i stopped thinking so much. but th thoughts just like to keep flooding back to me FML. feeling like this really sucks. rant rant rant i hate myself for complaining so muchhh.

i wish i could always be th happy girl tht i seem to be usually.

oh well. and, on a side note, I'M FAT. ginormous, to be exact. i feel so FAT FAT FAT tdy's a 'alvina's a fat and ugly and horrible person' day.

i feel sad :(

i'm an anti-social freak. sorry for not replying. although probably no one tht i text would even see this.

i'm just hoping tht things go well this week. and forever. let's go sleep now. goodnight world. i really hope tht tmr will be a better day. i have to go to God now, i've not been to Him for too long.

but you put on quite a show, really had me going.

#159 i want to be with you till th sun falls down from th sky.

2010-10-17T23:17:00.004+08:00

hopefully not too much.

my brain's in a mess, fml. told a few people haha and now my brain's more cleared out uh i guess. hopefully tmr will be good, i wna do lots of things tht i wna do, ie. WATCH SHOWS! sad tht i still gotta wait so long for VD, and even longer for GG! sigh.

heehee serena/damon! idk why i went to get these 2 photos suddenly to post here:X dumb righttt but i really wna watch uh once they go on break i'm gonna rewatch everyth if i have spare time!

i'm tired every single day WHYWHYWHY! i wish schl starts later. NO WAIT. i wish tht THERE'S NO SCHL UNLESS WE NEED TO SEE TEACHER FOR PW. no point to go to schl everyday till 5 right-.- sucks to be in MJ seriously. makes my life screwed up..

i feel like i have no life of any sort now. like i'm just wasting my life away. before promos it was all about thinking how after promos it'll relaxing and stuffs but now tht its really aft promos, i feel like i'm really just wasting lots of my time awayyyy~

okay enough ranting, shall just go sleep NOW. BYE.
it hurts just thinking of that, and no one knows.

#158 W.T.S

2010-10-16T00:14:00.002+08:00

AHAHA SO CUTEE i want a mini schnauzer (not shown above)! cute ttm seriously :)

okay so here are my results: SUDDC
what i wanted: SEDED

i guess all subjs except for CHEM, i'm contented with. wtfreak man i really just wanted to pass chem right and what i got in return is a big fat U. damn, like tht i shldn't even bother to study so much for it right i think i studied th most for chem you know :( th rest are like just one day before, (esp econs thank God for sucha thing called promo package) and def less time spent than on chem.

and those who maybe fail one subj or sth, (not in MJ also counted) quit complaining and proclaiming tht you slack blah blah just to cover up a fail when you obviously got work hard-.- nvm. this is probably quite random but i'm just sick of *'s claims its damn turn-off i swear.

and now PW's just screwing with my brain i feel so useless yknow can't even do simple parts properly everyth's just wrong; really duno wad's wrong with me:/ so sorry to those 2. to th other 2, i'll just be really grateful if individual parts are all completed on your own tyvm :)

i think i'm a bitch nowadays haha. funny much, but funny-faces are just so entertaining! self-entertainment at home nv fails to keep me amused.

something's lacking in my life. but i can't put a finger to what it is.

CRAP I NV GET TO WATCH VD TNIGHT AGAIN I'M STUCK AT S2 EP 3 ONLYYY. watched only a third of it so far:/ what have i been doing w my time? my pw not even done and i'm not even watching my shows for th past 2hrs since i got home!

but at least sakae was good, i love you ♥

i really really wna do all those stuffs, like everyth tht we have planned before! maybe you forgot all those alr :( but i rmb everyth! thr's so much to do, push to hols=sure won't finish again sigh. somemore this hols MJ sure make me study if i manage to keep 4H2 wts. plus choir plus (HOPEFULLY, *CROSS FINGERS CROSS TOES* ms hua allows!) OGL stuffs schedule sure quite massive right! but i wna make th best of whatever i can get out of JC life alr lah if not my life really sucks.

okay okayyyy omg i need to get back to PW alr wts i wna sleep alr i'm so sleepy tmr i'm just gonna disappoint them again i guess so sorry. but i really can't find anyth to substantiate, google kinda sucks at th points tht we really need it..

BYE. SHALL BLOG SOON.

#157 sealed.

2010-10-12T22:08:00.003+08:00

think i posted this before somewhere down there in one of th posts before uh. but i can't help it I REALLY NEED ONE.

feel like my life's screwed up alr. all thanks to promos.

everyone's relieved that they've passed subjects here there and everywhere, or at least S huh. i've gotten back 2 subjects: 1 S 1 U. FML ttm i swear i feel so demoralised now and although i really didn't want to *** in class, i couldn't help but *** in class :(

great willpower right. disappeared to th secluded bench area just at th corner of th class. called elis to *** somemore omggg. can't stand myself zz.

well, also got laptop case tdy, pretty! haha not as nice as th jap one uh but i'm happy :)

but i think i'm an idiot, left my bottle at 77th street counter when i was trying th case thr zomg-.- felt so embarrassed when i had to go back to get it!

life pretty much sucks alot for me now, and thr's cca + lots of pw periods tmr YAY. sigh th internet's not helping me AT ALL why can't i find any stats on vending machines in SG? :/ no stats, how to give evidence to th rabbit zz.

i want to keep my 4H2s. i promise to work hard, God.
i pray for peace in all my friends, and for myself too.
Amen.

i really need to learn to control my emotions more. i'm such a loser right. can't get myself to be optimistic anymore. i'm letting my parents down. so so very much.

i should just disappear.

#156 paranoia,

2010-09-09T13:13:00.003+08:00

wlao wish i could look like that when i put on clothes like those.

promos in LESS THAN 20 DAYS. wts damn i am so screwed. up till now i'm only trying to catch up, not even revising much yet ughhh. i'm letting myself and my parents down if i don't friggin' pass every subj:/

i've not been a nerd but i admit tht i've been studying much more than wad i used to. just can't stand those (inserts bad word) who always say that they've wasted their time and not studied at all blah blah blah when obviously they mug super hard and night. these people will try to show that they were only slacking (not) the next day but every bit of work's done alr. i'm not referring to people from my schl uh hahaha most are just pure muggers. some forced to convert.

but thr's this one person whom i know proclaims to be slack uh but i know that's not th case. hahaha whatever i just to get it off. anw nobody reads this blog so its alright!

sometimes, if only we can all read each others' minds. life would be so much more simpler.

note to self:
stop having moodswings ugh. i'm getting on my own nervesss!
and stop being so bothered by those stuffs.
and pretend that th death-stare didn't happen.
and just take it that those were not seen.
and stop thinking about it.

but when i saw your look when you heard.. my heart broke.

#155 no.

2010-08-17T21:32:00.004+08:00

look @ th 2 cute boys aww miss them so much wish they could come over soon :)

i really shouldn't be here right now yknow:/

ah, i swear life's been a bitch but i just gotta live with it huh. days are counting down, one by one. there's so much to do but so little time!

i wish i was a vampire-.- NO NEED TO SLEEP=TONS OF TIME FOR OTHER STUFFS! (right elis hahaha though you prob won't even see this!)

screw that hubit. irritating crap sia, whats with th rejecting of everyth tht we've produced? you just throw it back at us without telling us much about how we can actually improve on it and expect us to magically know. great job man i seriously wonder how your previous classes did..

i'm so tired now.............

GOTTA BUCK UP! FINISH EOM!
finish econs case study+ essay outlines.
vectors FOUR:(
ionic eqm tut/assignment+ alkanes.

start on revision too okay i really have to buck up now!
anyone who sees this please try and help to push me to do better okay? i can't afford to slack anymore!!

but its alright (NOT) because i ~~love~~hate the way you lie.

#154 fail.

2010-08-08T00:08:00.001+08:00

everyone else seems so much more accomplished than me. MUCH much more, i swear.
fuck my life ttm.

#153 EFFED UP.

2010-07-07T20:14:00.006+08:00

damn sian tdy, seriously. FML. i feel so damn bad abt my whole life now you know? WTS am i doing with it? fuck man.

then now.. nobody seems to care. i don't think anyone took me seriously.

screw eom. how th hell am i supposed to get it done?

i wish there were happy pills. just like how sleeping pills get people to fall asleep. COS MY LIFE IS FUCKED.
and i guess tht you're not thinking of me at all.

#152 AHHH/ IT'S OVERRR!

2010-06-30T10:05:00.003+08:00

zomg was supposed to wake up at 8 AND START STUDYING CHEM (i don't know a shit abt chem bonding damn terrible at it too failed th last test like *!@% alr) but i got distracted by OTHER STUFFS when i wanted to log on to IVLE & now i'm here blogging, aft my latest distraction. huge distraction, SWEAR i'm never ever gna fall for tht distraction again, during times when i need my focus

I NEED TO STUDY NOWWWW~ chem bonding redox gases at least! NOW NOW NOW! 1 hour left before i need to prepare (lunch, bathe, slack--again)

BYE. i hate wasting time thinking abt useless stuffs.

[ADD ON, ITS 11.04PM NOW]

okay, chem's over WTS I SHALL STOP THINKING ABT IT COS I KNOW I FAILED THe PAPER ALR thr's this chance tht i might just get 0 for th paper i am perfectly serious i think only jinni knows how it feels like. sigh, depressing ttm.

then we tried to celebrate lynny's birthday, dumb sia haha shld have snapped a photo of her look DAMN EPIC teehee she was so blur/shocked!:D hee.

'oh, no wonder you had to see doctor. no wonder you had tuition. no wonder you had cramps.' HAHAHA.

damn, i know its aft exams alr but seriously i shldn't be wasting my time doing that.

i hate myself sometimes, seriously. i just make myself upset:/

i wish you can hold me now, make me feel like i'm the most important in th whole wide world.
i wish someone understands me.

#151 i know it.

2010-06-27T22:15:00.009+08:00

hmm.

watching WC on th internet and its lagging. thr's freaking MYE tmr. and i'm not studying. bet MJ population's mugging their ass off. zz wts i don't care alr. just hoping tht th paper will be simple enough for me to handle at least half, so tht i can pass.

wts i feel like crap now.

i need to kill the headache before it kills me. i shld go sleep now.

hmm.

anw, i really feel like crap now.
i know it whenever you lie. and it breaks my heart tht little more whenever it happens. i keep silent about it. i don't say anyth. but inside me, it all just gets very screwed up.
sometimes i just wna forget everything bad, and only rmb th good.

#150 story!

2010-06-21T16:42:00.008+08:00

Let me just share with you the story of these two little kids. This boy and this girl, are in love. As young as they are, it’s incredible how they treat each other, how much they want to be together all the time, how they never get tired of one another, it’s crazy.

My mom works at a preschool, and these two kids go there. William and Eva. They are about four or five I believe.

Eva goes to school everyday, but William only goes every other day. The little girl’s mom told my mom that every morning when Eva gets in the car she says, “Mommy, is today a William day?” And when it is she sighs with relief in her little car seat.

When they sit in class on the floor listening to story time, the little boy strokes her arm. He tucks her hair behind her ear and smiles at her, he helps her with her coloring. This is all during a day in preschool.

I saw him at the school picnic, and he was walking around holding her hand. She said, “I want some cake, William.” He replied, “Okay, Eva. Let’s go get some together.”

I couldn’t help but take a picture of them. I hope they get married someday. They make me so happy. Even if he’s four years old, he knows how to treat a girl better than any guy my age.

sweet eh? hahaha(:

taking a break off math, though i've only completed.. ONE question! damn bored of studying alr zz though i've barely started:/ SIGH.

remember this?? i miss this so much yknow, hahaha. childhood memories.. aww.

shall get back to doing math soon, i really duno how to do any shit for math sigh. its amath all over again, just tht this wld be even worse i suppose. i really really need to focus.

C'MON, FOCUS NING!

5 hours ltr.. zomg i still haven't done anyth constructive WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME:/

sigh.

shall just aim low for now. zz. BYE.

#149 make me smile?

2010-06-19T22:24:00.005+08:00

PRONTO.

wts. i feel pretty terrible now, my life's so screwed up:/ haven't studied for mids, how can i even pass anyth? crap lah one of my stupid emotions-run-wild moment, again. watching tv/using fb/playing neopets now, WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE~ i'm completely screwing it up lah aft this i shall turn off th comp till 11plus when i need to do sth alright. sigh.

but th tv's so distracting. turn it off? but i wna watch:/ no self-discipline, i know.

i wna eat sth nice again. zomg i'm like a fat pig alr but i've still got endless cravings which i succumb to. crap sia how am i ever going to lose weight?? i wna lose weight so badly yknow:/ but i'm having hunger pangs now. aft reading ella enchanted (again), i swear, thr's this curse placed on me: when i'm hungry i feel dizzy & stuffs and i'll only feel normal aft i eat! hahaha. as in my dizzy is more serious kind lah, blah.

and that was the day that I promised i'd never sing of love if it does not exist.
somehow, it seems really different.
do i love you too much? i wonder if you love me as much.

#148 swap the genders/ i miss you.

2010-06-18T17:48:00.008+08:00

They have been married for two years. He loves literature and often posts his work on the net, but nobody ever reads them. He is also into photography and he handles their wedding photos. He loves her very much. Likewise with her. She has a quick temper and always bullies him. He is a gentleman and always gives in to her.

Today, she’s being willful again.

Her: “Why can’t you be the photographer for my friend’s wedding? She promised she’d pay.”
Him: “I don’t have time that day.”
Her: “Humph!”
Him: “Huh?”
Her: “Don’t have time? Write less of those novels, and you will have all the time you need.”
Him: “I… someone will definitely recognize my work some day.”
Her: “Humph! I don’t care, you’ll have to do it for her!”
Him: “No.”
Her: “Just this once?”
Him: “No.”

Negotiation’s broken. So, she gave the final warning: “Give me a Yes within three days, or else…”

First day, she “withheld” the kitchen, bathroom, computer, refrigerator, television, hi-fi… Except the double bed, to show her “benevolence”.

Of course, she has to sleep on it too. He didn’t mind, as he still has some cash in his pockets.

Second day, she conducted a raid and removed everything from his pockets and warned, “Seek any external help, and you bear the consequences.”

He’s nervous now. That night, on the bed, he begs for mercy, hoping that she’ll end this state. She doesn’t give a damn. No way am I giving in, whatever he says. Until he agrees.

Third day, night. On the bed. He’s lying on the bed, looking to one side. She’s lying on the bed, looking to the other side.

Him: “We need to talk.”
Her: “Unless it’s about the wedding, forget it.”
Him: “It’s something very important.”

She remains silent.

Him:”Let’s get a divorce.”
She did not believe her ears.
Him: “I got to know a girl.”

She’s totally angry, and wanted to hit him. But she held it down, wanting to let him finish. But her eyes already felt wet. He took a photo out from his chest. Probably from his undershirt pocket, that’s the only place she didn’t go through yesterday. How careless.

Him: “She’s a nice girl.”
Her tears fell.

Him: “She has a good personality too.”
She’s heartbroken because he puts a photo of some other girl close to his heart.
Him: “She says that she’ll support me fully in my pursue for literature after we got married.”

She’s very jealous because she said the same thing in the past.
Him: “She loves me truly.”
She wishes to sit up and scream at him “Don’t I?”
Him: “So, I think she won’t force me to do something that I don’t want to do.”

She’s thinking, but the rage won’t subside.
Him: “Want to take a look at the photo I took for her?”
Her: “…!”

He brings the photo before her eyes. She’s in a total rage, hits his hand away and leaves a burning slap on his face.

He sighs. She cries.
He puts the photo back to his pocket. She pulls her hand back under the blanket.

He turns off the light, and sleeps. She turns on the light, and sits up. He’s asleep. She lost sleep. She regrets treating him the way she treated him.

She cried again, and thought about a lot of things. She wants to wake him up. She wants to have a intimate talk with him. She doesn’t want to push him anymore. She stares at his chest. She wants to see how the girl looks.

She slips the photo out. She wanted to cry and she wanted to laugh.

It’s a nicely taken photo. A photo he took for her. She bends down, and kissed him on his cheek.

He smiled. He was just pretending to be asleep.

"You learn to love, not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

crap, i'm feeling damn stupid now. today's a bad bad day sigh. sigh it's impossible for me to get anything right at all. and now my plans go *poof*. no more baked pasta i guess :(

what a downer.

i hate studying. it spoils my mood ttm. what's more i catch no ball from any question that i'm doing. i hate myself for being so stupid too. manzxz. wish everyth wld just diffuse into my brain-.-

i feel like eating something really nice, wish tht someone will cook for me! this is damn random, hmm.

i shld probably get back to studying, but th tv's distracting me zz. math math math i wish i was good in mathhh! and also chem econs haha. i hate bio so i'll be glad if i can do relatively well for it. i know nothing abt it since 2 topics before except tht DNA has 2 strands and thr's such thing called Okazaki fragments (is it spelled like tht?) oh well.

i'm hungry, shall go hunt for food now.

#147 hmm.

2010-06-16T09:40:00.001+08:00

now i know. its you, and not you.

zz, wts lah its damn stupid leh i don't really wna face stuffs like this anymore so i'm just gna try to go on with life normally and not think so much. esp when i'm alone:/

hmm.

#146 slacking, lazing.

2010-06-13T13:50:00.002+08:00

half of th hols are gone alr, DAMN. sad much.

SLEEPOVER STARTS.. IN A FEW MINS:D

yay, haha. second sleepover this hols: so happy hee hee hee. th first one was great!(: this one will be fun ttm also right! yay yay yay. feeling so super hungry now shall go eat soon!

#145 I WANT!

2010-06-09T11:18:00.004+08:00

OMG DAMN HOT DAMN NICE I WANTTTT! hahaha. white!
ahhhhh this is more realistic than iPhone, I KNOW:D super nice also heehee.

#144 irrational

2010-06-06T23:33:00.002+08:00

super dumb, hahaha.

i'm feeling like i'm so stupid now, this irrational feeling's taking over me & i can't do much abt it ahh! sighhhh, shall go sleep soon!

anw this week's gna be almost all play. i said 'almost' cos i hope tht i can get to study at least a little:/ woke up EARLY tdy for nth (me & koi & maybe april) cos GPP was called off. for some reason (or maybe none), aaron did not reply koi and sean has fever so no point if only th 3 of us went on ahead to do! so i woke up at 8 for nth haha am currently super sleepy shall sleep soon ans wake up earlier tmr to make my day more productive:D

I LOST MY KEYS TOO. sad much.

catching up with nia on wed?:D heh. i miss her lots & lots:D

SHALL TURN OFF TH COMP NOW BEEN SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME W IT ALR!

#143 HUNGRY HUNGRY!

2010-06-04T23:34:00.002+08:00

omg damn hungry now hahaha didn't eat dinner at all! gosh.

anw tmr better be damn fun! hope chantalle won't have hangover or sth heh damn stupid lah if she does! & i'm really feeling very very hungry now forget comp/shows/work (-.-) i shall just go find food to eat hee, instead of doing any of th above!

BYE.

anw, wts lah i don't wna be feeling this way.

#142 SLEEP EARLYYY!

2010-06-03T23:22:00.002+08:00

AHAHAH THE AWESOME CHEERLEADERS!

haha okay i'm lazy to post photos still this was from fb not my camera uh.

tdy was alright, haha but i realise how screwed i am for mids. okay i think tht way everyday but i never ever do anyth abt it, wth right. tdy we had a pretty long break in schl: me & nick went ehub for bowling, lunch @ buddy hoagies! we even arrived back at schl much earlier than expected okay so good rightttt! (but my bowling sucks ttm tdy, sigh)

tmr with those dumb people!! haha hope tht it'll be fun fun fun! omg so long nv crap/rubbish/nonsense with them alr miss them all so so so much yknow! can't wait for all th dumb stuffs to happen! exclamation marks throughout this whole paragraph!! hee!

it'll be math, boring boring 3 periods chem lecture then boring chem tutorial then out with them! yay! looking forward to th later part only not at all th earlier part:/ gotta wake up @ 8.15 again haha maybe i'll oversleep. (as usual)

crossing fingers abt sat. it'll be super kj, i swear.

#141 okay..

2010-06-02T21:43:00.003+08:00

everyth's gna be fine?

haha, had a chat ard WS tdy and i think it was pretty great:D

lazy to post photos hahaha haven't been uploading anyth for a long long time, resulting in no change in user pics blah heh. feeling really really lazy nowadays, hopefully i'll get more rest & play during this hols? yeah. i need more sleep! luckily all th lectures are at 9plus, no need to crawl out of bed so earlyyyyyyy.

stuffs tht make my life more interesting!

had sakae buffet ytd, yay.
meeting th girls(guy) this fri, yay.
cheerleader outing this sat, yay.
sleepover(s) next week, yay.

& lots more other stuffs i hope, MAJOR YAY. omg i'm so damn slack lah how to pass mids like this?! think i'll be lucky if i'm not forced to drop any H2 aft this mids..

(recalls results)
bio: passed 1 failed 1, but bascially idk ANY single thing from genomics onwards.
chem: haven't passed a single lecture test. th one we got back tdy was th worst ever.
math: haven't passed a single test (lecture OR quiz)
econs: S E S E hahaha funny results, LOUSY still.

with results like this, mids are screwed unless i study damn hard & catch up with everyth now righttttt. but i can't help but slack. lots & lots.

& recently thr has been pretty much to talk abt right!! so funny, entertaining.. everyth lah haha it just makes me laugh so much at times. man, this is random but my right eye is super itchy now got a bad feeling tht tmr it'll be red & stuffs, zz. these 2 days, without going for bio lectures HAHA i feel like my life is much more productive. (actually not but it beats falling aslp during lectures-.-)

tdy i have nth much to do, slack slack slack hahaha shall go watch some stuffs ltr: rewatching GG (maybe), or other stuffs see if i manage to dl any other shows!

anw this month thr's sth to look forward to!! like really really look forward to!!*big grin*

heeheehee ♥

shall go bathe now, then watch my shows.

BYE!

p.s thanks for reading my blog. i think if you're reading this, you're probably th only one :(

#140 ♥ triton cheerleaders.

2010-05-26T23:44:00.002+08:00

triton siao ah si bei siao!

tdy feels like its super long, seriously! morning prac, lessons, a little more prac, dressing up, waiting, hydrating, then performing! thereafter cheering, watching, camwhoring.. gosh super lots of stuffs lah tdy, took quite a number of photos also shall wait for people to post/whatever. those taken in schl all not with me also haha so i don't really need to post anyth okay:D

dinner was awesome, seriously:D our table damn noisy-.- and i think next time we don't tell other table (people) stuffs, ltr they offended by it while we think its funny. JUST LAUGH HAHA.

wanted to say more stuffs, but i fell asleep. shall go sleep now. feeling really bad for not contributing to GPP. thanks alot, my group. shall try to help more tmr!!

#139 seriously.

2010-05-22T00:28:00.005+08:00

what am i doing with my life huh?? zz. i just wasted th whole of tdy.. UGHHHH. didn't do a single piece of work at all, guess i really have to do it tmr!

PMS-ing now i think, damn stupid haha.

thinking abt stuffs even when i'm bathing, it's tht stupid. came up with all th stuffs tht i don't wna think abt, but i still thought of anw. what you said, made me think even more. 1, seriously?
whatever.

true love's kiss, i love you. no matter what.

#138 so fragile.

2010-05-01T23:55:00.004+08:00

it's really so easy to.. just end?

i don't know. okay, feeling 'sentimental' now, according to nick haha i just told him what i read abt. to me it feels kinda upsetting for some weird reasons i don't know why!

btw, got my dress. FINALLY OMG. everyone shall see it on concert day alright! & i just realised tht i haven't bought my court shoes so i think i shall just stick to using lynny's? yeah can't be bothered i hate court shoes anw they make my feet hurt):

marketplace epic-ness tdy, loved!

missed th hols feeling so so much, when all we had to do was just to walk ard, slack, chat, play! no fussing abt what work needs to be done, at most we just had to decide on which movie to watch etc! wna have all my hols back again.. and hang ard th city more often:D

sugar + cholesterol intake REALLY HIGHHHH tdy:/

reality: i need to get my stuffs done. stop failing tests (at this rate my worst fear will come true i hate myself for being so stupid)

#137 what about now?

2010-04-30T23:14:00.003+08:00

gotta do so much this weekend.. needed to go to F21 to get my skirt just now but didn't in the end.

MUST GET IT BY TMRRRRR!

hmm, but tdy was good. it felt like i was back in pri schl all over again! photo-takings during first period and a half of math, then PE was just sitting in the shade chatting and recess ended with pizza, and shaken-up pepsi bottles which hissed during math lecture! the pizza made us feel like we were having a party, yknow those kind during pri schl whr everyone brought food?? haha yeah. then econs we had half a lesson free, chem was kinda dumb also didn't do much so it didn't matter tht i did only the first page of tutorial.

relaxing day. TGIF. but may's leaving, oh man. when you're used to having a class of 28, 27 just doesn't feel right.

i don't feel good now. therefore no pics are uploaded (i'm not tht efficient anw) shall just go to sleep soon and hope tht tmr will be a good day.

you'd better be nice to me tmr!(:

#136 OUTINGS!

2010-04-18T14:00:00.023+08:00

HELLO HAVEN'T BEEN POSTING, COS I'M A BUSY PERSON:D HAHA SUPPOSED TO BE DOING PI NOW YET I'M KINDA PROCRASTINATING COS I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO CHANGE THE SECOND PART TO):

okay, i'm rubbish-ing now. i wna post lots of photos actually! all those tht we've taken tgt yay basically i've been seeing nick alot so we've been out pretty much & doing nice stuffs(: but now, every weekend is kinda just wasted away due to endless procrastination and attempts to catch up with th never-ending workload! plus next week's elections alr! suddenly i really feel like backing out from it, HOW??:/

i guess these few week's i'm gna be kept really busy: schl work, choir, & maybe th cheerleading stuffs also? hmm. hopefully everyth will be over sooooooon!

photos are uploading so slowlyyyyy, SIGH. i think i'm damn stupid. tht was random, but yeah. i've been failing almost all my tests..

B: one and only test so far & i got lowest in class i think:/ big fat U
C: quizzes were okay, lecture tests S U
M: U U U U? haha last one S
E: S E? S S? i duno leh i think its sth like tht..
GP: not sure which are th official tests!

okay now for th pictures (FINALLY!)

TEPPANYAKI! HEE HEE NICE NICE!(:

act cute xD

BREEZER FTW!!!

this day we went out for late late dinner (i forgot why.. WHY HUH??) then went to paragon supermarket to walk walk yay missed tht place so much hee.

SAKAE BUFFET!

new menu + lots & lots of fooooooood! i realise my photos are kinda in reverse order cos of th way i upload them but i'm kinda lazy to rearrange everyth!:X

CYCLING + CARTEL AFT 9!!!

heh th place with th lights at th side!!!(: heehee. like tht not very obvious, but th place's nice:D

@PIZZAHUTTTTT!

indulging in cheese.. cheese cheese cheese! hee. i rmb, th next day cos we went to church for easter, my mum made CHEESE SANDWICH for both of us gosh so dumb xP swimming plan FAIL, cos it was raining so much!

♥♥♥♥♥♥

we have endless memories to create;
i love you.

#135 can you meet me halfway.

2010-04-05T22:43:00.002+08:00

sinful.. but i like! haha.

supposed to be looking/thinking of a topic for PI but i can't think of anyth good to do! sigh i'm so damn screwed. finished GP essay only, didn't even do th last part of econs case study. I'M SO SLEEPY & LAZY NOW! shall go sleep soon alr i have a rough concept on what i wna do, but i have no idea if i can pull it off or not:/

went to Mad Jack with nick for dinner tdy, didn't think it was awesome haha. met nia jo jem at macs! talked for awhile, and awhile more with nia at subway:D did GP essay thr then, while nick did his chem assignment heh. felt quite accomplished, at least i finished a (almost) two page long essay YAY.

oh, abt th bio test tdy? i totally screwed it:D thank goodness i didn't waste so much time studying! though i know i can do better if i actually did study; i'm only regretting tht everyone will do much better than me, that's all.

i'm lovin' everyday, when i get to meet you ♥

trying to make the best out of everyday;

#134 procrastination.

2010-03-30T23:38:00.003+08:00

love love(:

hahaha i'm a damn bad student zz completed 2 questions of summation for th whole entire night only! q1 & 3. WOW. screw it lah i need to catch up like mad tmr, seriously! summation extra prac, econs essay (th hols one, surprisingly i did th other one alr!) i need to rush everyth out & feel a sense of relieve, only to face th endless tutorials yet again. damn looking forward to thurs, movie marathon!!! long weekend mah, i like(:

I WANT MY EASTER EGGS! hee. (hint:D)

oh damn i've still not watched GG yet its loaded for so long alr.. ahh i'm gna have to watch this wkend! wonder if i'll have time to relax, what with tests plus th resolution of getting myself motivated to study.

blah.

i have to convert to be a mugger: PROMOTE!

sleepy, its so late once again i'm totally wasting my time when i actually can be doing more math-.- i realise i'm lousy and stupid, can't do a shit in math i'll just fail again next test:/

okay random blabbers in this post, i shall stop th random trains of thoughts from entering haha. well i need to clarify sth soon. hmm. okay actually it depends.

last point: sometimes i feel really lonely:/

goodnight!

#133 child like dreams.

2010-03-29T20:18:00.004+08:00

JC life's really tiring, gotta do so much stuffs every day and th stuffs tht i owe just pile up higher and higher.. i wonder who even reads my blog these days; my tagboard's dead:/ i'm just typing words out in this box whenever i click on 'new post'.

just finished th bio quiz and survey thingy, need to go on to econs essayS (damn) and also math extra practice i'm flunking every test at this rate i'll just be retained alr. don't tell tht it's gonna turn out fine, cos i know at th pace i'm going i'm really not going to do well so i need to buck up and not be so tired and lethargic everyday. it's tough, but JC life's like tht right? once again, i need to find motivation (which i'm clearly lacking, lots) these days i keep thinking abt how good life wld be if i was a poly kid instead! haha i'll think tht life is boring, and waking up at noon everyday is part of life-.-

stupid post, i sound like a nerd emo kid gosh.

but then again, i wish i cld be a kid again!

shall try to enjoy my life as it goes along? some parts are good, but i really hate th setbacks they make me feel terrible. nvm, i can be strong. jiayou jiayou, go go alvina!(:

i shld be with them now eh? but looking at th bright side since i'm not, i don't miss out on schl! but when i went to send off AH, i really missed th feeling of travelling; since Olomouc, and it gave me a wrenching sensation in my gut knowing tht i cld be feeling th same actually. BUT, NO REGRETSSSSS! or else i'll just be wallowing in self pity:/

i wish i could fly, and tht my dreams will come true.

but i gave up wishing long ago,
& the child-like innocence never returns thereafter.

#132 BE HAPPY.

2010-03-25T22:07:00.002+08:00

i wrote for th self vision thing tdy, tht i want to be happy; optimistic. well, i'm trying hard to but i'm really dreading tmr for more than one reasons. shld i go for morning assembly? sigh. tht's th part i'm least looking forward to but it'll start my day. whether or not my day will be good depends on it i guess? SBJ tmr also i think hahaha i'll just jump 1 metre i think-.-

AHS & MJ are both flying off tmr! haha different flights though: SQ, which thr's no need to transit; and fly emirates which they need to transit at Dubai heh. good luck to them yeah have funnnnn! nia better get nice stuffs for me hee:D

i thought tht tdy wasn't tht good.. ahh nvm. some stuffs can't be mentioned (read: sensitive) but i really don't think anyone who i can tell understand. i told you just now, i think you don't care cos.. hmm. i'm thinking of sth really negative shall stop thinking tht way.

with a smile on my face.

#131 BUBU!

2010-03-21T01:54:00.004+08:00

haha okay i'm up at a very late hour and probably am not gna sleep till.. i don't know! heh. went to catch being human just now haha reached home close to midnight, bought mini cornettos 2 boxes for 8 bucks hee.

slacking now.. yay. but i gotta do my work sigh. NICK IS LAZY. LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY LAZY HE HASN'T DONE ANY WORK LAZY LAZYYYYYYY.

BREEZER IS NICE YAY YAY YAY. HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA PEACH PEACH! WE LOVE IT HAHAHA:D i shall try to do more work heh haven't even finish redox assignment haven't started econs i'm so freakin screwed lahhhh. GP? no need to say, i haven't started either:/ screw homework):

tnight will be fun? hee(:

walkathon in th rain was alright(: but probably cos of it tht's why my nose is so runny now:/ hope i won't fall sick and tht no one does too:D

#130 i've seen through youuu, B.

2010-03-18T11:52:00.005+08:00

had great food last night, paid ard 15 in total for stingray kangkong sotong prawn omelette chicken wing! it was lotssss haha i felt bloated aft tht:X then me and jinni had to do th *ahem* so tht nobody can see our *ahem* haha!

then th class (part of) became Ds again wtheck we waited for them then they do this to us WTH. and jinni and i started saying.. say say say until it all became a certain person's fault:D well, it is partly tht person's fault, i believe.

guys + lynny pooled, i just watched cos i didn't wna embarrass myself. bowled one game for an expensive price thereafter, horrible game siol didn't even close a single frame goshhhhh. but sth rather upsetting which i now think is a misunderstanding (right?) made me cry like crazyyyyy. plus th class plus sth else blah blah i just felt damn horrible last night but at least i feel better tdy! cos i got rid of all th negative energy last night alr! don't know what i'm gna do tdy, but i really wna finish my work though i know it's seriously impossible:/

oh, chem PBL was great we managed to finish! haha though our problem we kinda just rubbish-ed our way through to get an answer..

tmr ECP. tdy (is it still on?) buffet! i'm so gna get FATTTTTT. walkathon on sat haha loo tht dumb person actually long forgot abt it haha!

waking up i see that everything is okay,

#129 don't stop believin'

2010-03-17T10:49:00.005+08:00

at Han's on sunday, haha i uploaded th blur one by accident oops:X

irritating shizzz its alr wed and i haven't done my GP yetttt! supposed to pass to koi to post out tdy! and i've not much work yet this really sucks, when schl reopens i'm just gna get damn screwed by th tchers:/

gna go to nick's hse to do PBL ltr, hopefully we get sth done-.- plus, class dinner at 85 at night YAY STINGRAY KANGKONGGGG! heh, i've been having pretty good food these days, just had teppan last night tht i thought was pretty decent too i liked th prawn:D looking forward to ltr on, tmr and fri! actually sat too, and maybe sun if sth can happen(: yay, my hols make me feel happy again but i've to go back into th real world soon and face th work tht i've not done sigh):

oh, breakfast with pei ytd at LJS(: yay, it was good hee i'll be seeing her on fri again! love love love her ttm:D

she took th midnight train going anywhere,

#128 holidays?

2010-03-14T00:04:00.002+08:00

i seemed so happy on fri yeah, but now..

thr seems to be tons of stuffs for me to complete, but i'm not setting my priorities straight at all and am having a good mind to head out tmr again! shizzz, i'm an utter failure in being determined to achieve what i want-.- [rmb th first in class for tests thing?! haha, tht'll never happen.] i'm just living my life without a care in th world, though i'm really supposed to be giving a damn abt lots of stuffs. i don't know when i can get myself to get started on any hmework, HOPEFULLY by tmr? [note th question mark at th end of my sentence; it just shows tht i don't really intend to start.]

AHH WHERE IS MY SELF DISCIPLINE?! i need to change; i need motivation to get me going!

but i'm really wishing tht i could just laze on a hammock, and just read for th whole hols. no tutorials, no PBL, no shit. tht'll be th life.

#127 class outing ftw(:

2010-03-12T23:28:00.008+08:00

SENTOSA+VIVO! hahaha at least i have a few photos here!(:

haha okay i've uploaded FIVE photos so far.

tht's good alr, considering tht i don't usually upload photos on th day of outings haha:D

i'm trying really hard to upload all 80+ photos onto fb, but i think it'll take a million years to do so z it's taking its own sweet time so probably only 10 will be up hahaha! anyone who wants th photos just pass me a thumbdrive k i'll transfer everyth for you!(:

lunch was great all chips haha, plua a few random type of food tht is not chips! dinner, we had lagsane at secret recipe th beef's awesome! its really filling though th portion looks small, cos they're really generous with th beef:D

haha tdy's outing was great lah yeah, at least it was fun.
though you really don't care when others are ard, tht's sth you don't grasp.

#126 short post!

2010-02-28T23:42:00.002+08:00

crap i've officially wasted my whole wkends (AGAIN) and now i have approx 20 mins left before sunday ends. AHHHHHHHH.

well this wkend really just flew past, with sat at koi's hse and tdy at grandma's hse and running (short short run hee) i'm screwed for econs tmr, haven't studied gosh bet i'm gna fail this test! wna catch up with pei lots lots lots realised tht i have a million things tht i haven't told her yet, cos it's just not th same if i don't tell it to her face to face; yknow what i mean?

sigh oh well just hoping tht nxt week will be fine, though i know tht it'll be super hectic what with camp + all those other stuffs!

wna post pics but seriously my time management skills (or lack thereof) doesn't really allow me to do so-.- so sorry i shall try to do it ASAP! PROMISE!

hmm, i know i shld and i can. but i don't know if i'm willing. and aft finding out tht sth, it's as if it is on purpose. i really don't know.

#125 not a good day.

2010-02-26T21:34:00.003+08:00

tdy's not th best of days. sigh. shan't elaborate much; i'm really trying not to think abt anyth.

i was actually hoping tht th end of tdy wld be great, at least i'll feel happy and stuffs.. but sighhh. NVM. anw i feel damn screwed up just realised tht i wasted a whole shitload of time, plus i can't find sth important. SERIOUSLY WHR TH HELL DID IT GO TO WHY CAN'T I FIND IT?!

feeling so sian+grumpy+all th pms moods start pouring in (though it's not tht time of th month lah but i'm just stating tht it's like pms) i shld really be isolating myself now, i'll just snap at anyone who tries to talk to me now.. my point was just proven.

screw it. hope tht tmr will be better and not just be wasted.

crap. i've not done econs (both proj stuffs and case study) DOUBLE DAMN. so many things to do, i just have no idea whr to get started at all. its my own fault for procrastinating, i know. sigh but i just don't know what to do now.

down.

#124 screw everything.

2010-02-21T22:32:00.003+08:00

i really hate it when th day ends like this. pei is right. TGIF never felt so real.

tdy was alright okay, actually. but now i think tdy sucks badly cos of wad's happening right now. this moment.

FML.

#123 456789!

2010-02-19T23:55:00.003+08:00

tdy was good, schl ended early we had class lunch it wasn't awesome but was okay went to qi koi's house for econs proj went for dinner with pei ding euge YAY. long day, but a good one cos it was relaxing and enjoyable yeah(: not done with econs proj yet, still have to meet up another day to complete some more stuffs!

talked to pei ding euge. okay actually i think i'm evil, kept on saying all those stuffs i think i talked too much:X SORRY. but i really miss you guys alot you know. hee. wna go out again SOON!

jinni told kent those stuffs alr, then.. okay actually i found out sth tht made me even more upset with them. it's super wth, seriously. just wishing tht everyth could be okay. i'm really not used to feeling like this.

i wish someone could truly understand how i feel.

tdy was rather awesome.

#121 hate tutorials.

2010-02-17T22:39:00.003+08:00

damn, have to finish chem tutorial hate it like crazy one question takes up so much time i still have quite alot left:/ but tdy wld have been much better if th teacher could just have just given us more time to complete th tutorial! yknow, we started lessons at 935 and ended at 1255 haha so super short day right it seriously flew past lah heh.

intended to go swimming tdy, but tutorial screwed th time and we only played badminton. oh well:/ another day then i can't wait! hee.

tmr's gna be a long day, plus i think i really have to go for choir alr.. s-i-a-n SIAN.

hope tht tmr's a better day haha. perhaps i really need to change my thinking? we shall see then. it all depends. on what? i have no idea too. i shld probably go concentrate on completing my chem instead of thinking abt random stuffs in front of th comp, which is a major distraction!

bye.

#120 VDAY + CNY

2010-02-15T14:36:00.004+08:00

first day of th Chinese New Year & Valentines Day ytd!

pretty uneventful, went through th standard routine of going around to both grandparents' houses, and also my godmum's hse. & th rest are all standard.. well then at night went to marina to catch Valentines Day!

we were lucky to get pretty decent seats hee. i thought tht thr weren't anymore seats at first cos of a stupid notice tht misled me, tyvm-.- but luckily nick went to ask th person and we got our tickets! went to get popcorn and stuffs.. then it was th movie! i like lots of th actresses inside, haha. but taylor swift was really dumb in th show. like DUMB. super funny lah, her dance routine gosh. overall th movie was alright, but a little confusing cos they keep moving from here to thr. 19 Los Angelinos in 7 stories!

then aft th movie, th mrt service had stopped alr lah then i'm th type who'll be scared of not ever reaching home, so i'm so sorry:/ i think i overreacted a little right..ahh. but thanks so much hee♥ reached home safely in th end(:

ytd night was short, but lovely♥♥♥

oh, and recaps abt th whole time when i didn't update! CNY celebrations at MJ is rather dumb haha shall skip tht part. then we went back to AHS, to see teachers plus meet up with th clique! only saw xint for a short while, cos she had to leave for malaysia rather early. then waited for tht dumb ding to come back from sentosa blah blah. was starving by th time he arrived, haha.

pei gave me a pink balloon yay(:

went to kfc with pei euge ding taitai teri! talked for quite awhile then i went home to bathe and rushed out to class steamboat! reached bugis at th same time as nick and eugene. then went to th steamboat place.. hmm lots of things to talk abt but nvm. shall tell jinni all abt it when we get back to schl, she didn't go.

i miss all th times tht we did rubbish tgt, like slacking away when we're supposed to be studying; bridge; lunching tgt; being noisy.. all th awesome memories tht we shared. i wna relieve them again. can we get tgt properly soon?

rmb this pei?!?!?!? hee, sakae! plus my last day of work. tempura!

i shall try to be happier, and learn to appreciate all th good things around me now instead of lamenting when it's all gone. okay, i know it's not gone but we're all at different places now so it's harder for us to meet:/ but we will all meet soon right!

always look on the bright side of life.

#119 MJ 10S111!

2010-02-07T18:45:00.002+08:00

hahaha my class has a cool name yo. 10S111!

yeah, and it consists of ~~25, 26~~, twenty seven awesome people yeahh. at first only 25 people, cos chun hong didn't come on th first day, then elis joined in too! elis looks like kah hwee! and a third of th class is AH people lah, so dumb haha. jinni, nick, eugene, jeremy, cliffton, beverly, eleanor. only one non chinese in th class: don't know how to spell his name, but thr are lots of ways to address him:D

anw, left schl early on fri (before cca orientation) cos of fever/sore throat. tht night, my temperature was still under control, highest was only 38.sth. next morning, it went up to 39.2 and i had to drag myself to th doctor:/ felt like dying goshh. slept alot these few days, and ate very little! had light-headedness just now cos all i had tdy was a few bites of bread+a little porridge.

but at least i lost weight. tht's th silver lining:D

though i really hate my disgusting voice now. cos of sore throat. please let me get well so tht i can go for trials. PLEASEEEEE. cos now i'm pretty much settled on my choices? oh wait i'm not sure still lah haha. it depends on floorball trials!

#118 missing last year. lots.

2010-01-31T23:52:00.002+08:00

It takes 3 seconds to say 'I Love You', but a lifetime to prove it.

i'm really missing last year. lots of people are saying, tht they miss AHS hahaha. but for me, i think i'm missing it cos of what we did at AHS before. like all th super fun and awesome times we had.. WHEE. miss them loads and i just wna relieve everyth again before i really officially start on my new journey onto a two years of new stuffs.

CCA dilemma-.- wth right.

anw tmr we'll know our new (& official) OG groupings! hoping tht it'll be awesome fun! please please please let everyth be smooth. and i'll just close an eye and trust you.

#117 first day of schl!

2010-01-28T21:30:00.003+08:00

haha at our nice nice place yay:D

tdy was th first day of schl, and they're alr making us choose our subj combi by 12 midnight-.- hopefully they'll get us new OG groups hee. i'm kinda bored in mineeee. loads of AH & CZ people gosh. didn't expect to see so many CZ people.

all th subj talks were okay, though they shldn't make us sit thr for 2 hours plus at one go. it makes our butts hurt+backache! well, hopefully tmr will be better:D th uni talk tht we went for (NUS) was superbly.. BORING. wrong choice yo we shld have went for one at th LTs whr we cld have slept instead-.-

submitted subj combi alr! hopefully it'll be okay my second choice is ~~different~~similar also now i'm thinking abt changing my choice zz. cos i don't know if i'll regret it? okay actually i think my first choice shld be alright STICK TO IT! don't be an idiot.

i hate taking th bus so early in th morning, but at least i get a seat? hmm. i'm starting to think; think if i had made th wrong choice. hopefully not. gosh, jc's getting to me. i'm blabbering nonsense alr zz. changed my choice. INDECISIVENESS! can't tolerate this nonsense from myself.
i know you're busy but at times like this i really want to talk to you.

#116 mixed.

2010-01-21T00:11:00.002+08:00

"If you love someone, put a circle around their name instead of a heart because as pretty as it looks, hearts can be broken while circles go on forever."

minds cafe with th girls ytd was fun, and FUNNY. you wouldn't believe how much noise we can produce haha super dumb. a few people had to keep going to pee cos they drank too much! heh then aft tht went dinner with pei at 201 and it rained like nobody's business lightning was super scary O.O

well, tdy was work till 3 packing books and teaching horsey chinese! yeah, then met nick we went to town to shop! hmm couldn't get my wallet tdy, sad sad sad:/ pictures another time hee i'm super lazy to upload, haven't been spending much time at home, th whole wk's probably gna continue this way too.

nick bought lots tdy he spent lots! i still can't find a decent schl bag, what to do?! but i'm happy with my new shoes. not schl shoes but its nice still. i still need to get lots of stuffs. oh and seriously i need to lose weight. okay not lose weight, but get rid of unwanted flab tht makes me look like a blob!

tdy was fun.

you'll keep your promise? cos i don't wna be sad anymore.

#115 upsetting.

2010-01-20T00:34:00.003+08:00

sighhhhhhh. i'mfeelingsoupsetnowidontknowwhattodo.

stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid feelings i feel so eff-ing loser-ish now its like i can't even have any control at all everyth's going wrong i can't even talk to you now ahhhhhh f. i don't understand why i feel this way but i just do don't judge me. shit why am i so damn negative.

nothing. i'm so alone.